Fuck appropriateness.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
