I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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