I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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