I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
