hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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