That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We got so high we made milksteak
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize