i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
