My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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