OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize