K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
