did you get engaged???
So drunk its hurt
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
