I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
