I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Can I color on your dick again?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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