Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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