Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
