onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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