Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
