Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
