I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
