maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
