But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
