He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
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