ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
50% drunk capacity currently
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
