Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
