Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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