: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
