lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
