i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
