took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
