If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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