Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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