your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
