I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
