...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
