i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
