wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
