What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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