She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Why is your signature on my underwear?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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