I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
