how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just invented taco cereal.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
