I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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