After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm at about main and main street
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
