69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
