I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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