Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
