i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We don't watch enough power rangers
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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