Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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