I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
