no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
