I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize