If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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