Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
