Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
