I'm sorry my penis didn't work
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
No subtext here. People are naked.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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