How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize