You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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