I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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