Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize