East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Boobs are out for the taking
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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