I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
