the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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