well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
