The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
