Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
