I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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