Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
