The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
