Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
