just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
