I don't remember. Are we still dating?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
