Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize