the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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